Tell me not now, if love for love
Thou canst return, ---
Now while around us and above
Day's flambeaux burn.
Not in clear noon, with speech as clear,
Thy heart avow,
for every gossip wind to hear;
Tell me not now!
Tell me not now the tidings sweet,
The news divine;
A little longer at thy feet
Leave me to pine.
I would not have the gadding bird
Hear from his bough;
Nay, though I famish for a word,
Tell me not now!
But when deep trances of delight
All Nature seal,
When round the world the arms of Night
Caressing steal,
When rose to dreaming rose says 'Dear,
Dearest,' --- and when
Heaven sighs her scent in Earth's ear,
Ah, tell me then!
I don't have a job for the winter because the bookstore got sold and they have a new manager who doesn't need anymore help. I really would rather cut my throat than go back to Stop and Shop. I applied at Jiminy Peak in Hancock, and plan to stay at MCLA over winter break. My parents are against it, and after I realized that break isn't even a month long, and I'd have to take 6 days out of working for Christmas and my bday, it hardly seems worth it. But at the same time, it is worth it. *sigh*
I am still stressed about homework. I just want this damn wiki to be over with. I finished it yesterday, but the professor commented and said I need to use more of my outside sources and to make it conclude better. I really don't want to look at it anymore. I'm also sick of thinking about my other 2 research papers, but I am SO not interested or motivated to write them. Ok, I am done.
So I haven't done a real update in a while. Life here just seems so uninteresting and mundane. I have a few minutes so I'll just write down some general things.
School:
I have so much shit to do. I
finally finished my Melville and Hawthorne research paper. It's 10
pages. Not bad. I did it on the Agatha Letters. I still have an African
American Lit research paper due (I think I'm going to do it on music in
their literature) and a Shakespeare research paper (I might do it on
Shakespeare's portrayal of Renaissance men in his plays). I'm doing
averagely in Physics. I actually think I bombed a test today.
Developmental Psychology is so boring and I always forget about
assignments. I have to do a wiki web page for that class over
Thanksgiving break. I actually have a lot of work to do over break.
*cries*
Last Thursday, in African American Lit, we were discussing Beloved. Langston was reading a passage out loud and then all of a sudden he started crying. The entire class was like "What the..." I honestly thought he was having a heart attack. I heard his voice choke up, and when I looked up from my book, his face was bright red, and he just sat down at the desk and cried. One of the girls in the class got him some tissues. Another girl emailed him, and Langston emailed her back saying that the passage made me emotional as well as the whole Obama winning the election, and some other stuff. She forwarded me the email, but I don't feel right posting it publicly online.
Social:
I've still been hanging out a lot at TH 15. Pretty much get drunk every weekend. It's starting to get a little boring. This past weekend was weird, though. On Friday night, we all got drunk and played Cranium. It was actually pretty funny. Then Chris burned his hand on the oven and that sucked really bad. The bathroom light was broken, and the cold water hasn't been fixed, so I was sitting with him in the bathroom with a flashlight while he was puking, and Dave, Kyle, and Dustin were trying to find cold water to pour on a ripped shirt to wrap his hand with. Luckily, the burns weren't THAT bad. There is a blistered outline of the stove though haha.
Saturday was even weirder. Ben brought back these 3 really drunk girls, and they all made out with frosting. Just weird.
Thankfully, I didn't have a meltdown this weekend towards Dustin, like I usually do. Things between us are ok, but weird. I guess that's the best I can put it. I feel jealous when he talks to other girls, even though I have no right/reason to. I feel guilty when I hang out with other guys, and not him. It's hard to face when he doesn't come over anymore or invite me to do stuff. BUT it's all part of moving on, and I just have to accept it.
That's about all I have time to write.
Proof that Death Cab for Cutie is a transcendentalist band:
- The
flames and smoke climbed out of every window
And disappeared with everything that you held dear <----------
But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need
Cause you knew you were finally free (Thoreau)
- Well it's a drab routine, the
dust starts building
until it's hard to come clean. (Emerson)
- But we just talk about the
people we've met in the last 5 years.
And will remember them in ten more? (Whitman)
- I think that it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will give a new perspective. (Thoreau)
- Brooklyn will fill in the beach eventually and everyone will go except me. (Whitman)
- But all of the parts are the
same on every face (few variables change).
The differences pale when compared to the similarity they share (All)
- Your heart is a river that
flows from your chest
Through every organ
Your brain is the dam
And i am the fish who can't reach the core. (Whitman)
- Sometimes it seems that i
don't have the skills to recollect
The twists and turns of plots that turned us from lovers to friends (Whitman)
- I'm thinking i should take
that volume back up off the shelf
And crack it's weary spine and read to help remind myself (Thoreau)
- My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth. (Whitman’s barbaric yawp)
- I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view (All)
- I want to live where soul
meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new (All)
- The boundaries of language I
quietly cursed
And all the different names for the same thing (Emerson/Thoreau)
UnjustCoho: Oh me, oh my.
SingOverMyRadio: Oh me, Oh life!
UnjustCoho: seriously.
SingOverMyRadio: of the questions of these recurring....
SingOverMyRadio: I have one, who are you?
UnjustCoho: CodyBrom
UnjustCoho: Cody Brom
SingOverMyRadio: well, if that isn't a made up name, I dont know what is
UnjustCoho: Cody Bromley
SingOverMyRadio: Ok, and do we know each other?
UnjustCoho: i don't know who you are yet
UnjustCoho: so please, enlighten me
SingOverMyRadio: well, seeing as how you got my screen name, you must know something about me
UnjustCoho: you were the one who sent me a message first!
SingOverMyRadio: right, and I believe you said that last time you stalked me
UnjustCoho: look, i really don't want to deal with crap like this right now. if you really were one of my friends I'd know this screen name. but for you to come out of the blue and accuse me of being your stalker.. no way mister. no way in hell.
UnjustCoho: tell me who you are, or not. i don't care.
SingOverMyRadio: I am Mr. Walt Whitman.
UnjustCoho: that block buttons looking awfully shiny, and i'm thinking about pressing it.
UnjustCoho: bs, whitman died years ago.
SingOverMyRadio: How dare you recite my poem wrong, and then accuse me of being dead.
UnjustCoho: pick another members of the dead poets sociert
UnjustCoho: *society
UnjustCoho: is that all you got ghost of poetry's past?
UnjustCoho: Come, I will make the continent indissoluble!
UnjustCoho: I will make the most splendi race the sun ever shone upon,
UnjustCoho: *splendid
SingOverMyRadio: I don't feel the need to transcend time and space with you
UnjustCoho: then peace be with you
SingOverMyRadio: and also with you.
UnjustCoho: you always were a crappy poet
UnjustCoho: and i never liked you
UnjustCoho: Leaves of Grass was hardly a compilation
UnjustCoho: you should have stuck to what you did best
UnjustCoho: being an asskisser
SingOverMyRadio: Yes, Emerson truly was the love of my life
SingOverMyRadio: And I wanted only his support and genius with me
UnjustCoho: look i really have no idea to you're true identity. and i'm sure you mistaken by having contacted me. My name is Cody Bromley from Tulsa. OK.
UnjustCoho: i truly feel no need to continue this conversation until you're willing to tell me who you really are
SingOverMyRadio: yet, you've ALSO IMed one of my friends on a separate occasion
UnjustCoho: i never im anyone
SingOverMyRadio: Hmmm class of 07.
UnjustCoho: only my girlfriend
SingOverMyRadio: Broken Arrow High School?
UnjustCoho: yup
UnjustCoho: thats me
SingOverMyRadio: Well, enjoy yourself out in Oklahoma.
UnjustCoho: facebook stalking much?
SingOverMyRadio: I would say the same to you.
UnjustCoho: sire you are truly mistaken.
UnjustCoho: i have not done such a thing
UnjustCoho: mind telling me this other friend's AIM handle?
SingOverMyRadio: Ok. Well, read some more Whitman and think about what it means to be a Poet. Get back to me when you understand that.
SingOverMyRadio: Peace!
UnjustCoho: i don't think i know such a body
Apparently he has ALSO IMed Ryan and webecamethey: he said: "name a more repulsive human being than larry king" i said: "Larry david" he said " what? who are you?"
He actually IMed me once before. I think it was over the summer or when school started, and said I IMed him and asked me who I was. It was totally weird.
I know I haven't updated much. I just don't feel like talking about anything. I'd rather deny every feeling that I feel and drown it all away with alcohol every weekend.
Oh, how Bukowski.
